I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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