You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
