Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
