i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
