I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I could fuck to npr.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
