Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
