Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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