im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
