No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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