so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
