You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
