Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
