I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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