He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
