Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
