dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
