he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
