Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
