I think scott just propositioned me for sex
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
