In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
