mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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