Non-Jews are for practice
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
