Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Say something about gay babies.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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