I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
