Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
