shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
