i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
