I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
