we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize