I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
