didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize