I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
