last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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