8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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