Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
