My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So much rum. So many feels.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
