i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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