Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
