Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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