he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
