he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
