Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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