That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
