id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can't turn off my feet"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
