We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Screwed.edu
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
