That's intense
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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