thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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