I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My vagina is officially offended.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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