so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
