You just made me feel so damn special
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
