It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
