The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
