i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
