Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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