Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
