Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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