I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
COCAINE IS GR8
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