I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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