you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
