Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize