then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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